Scars
by CookieKennedy9
Summary: Lily and Miley are together but Miley wants to hide their relationship from everyone. Lily is fed up and they have an argument causing Miley to fall back into her old patterns of self harm. Trigger warning & rated M for mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

Lily moved in closer to the exposed back of the brunette lying in bed with her. She moved her long dark locks out of the way so she could run her fingers down her back, it was soft and perfect. Miley turned around to look at her girlfriend and Lily felt butterflies as she fell into the wide blue pools that were Miley's eyes.

'Morning,' Miley said sleepily.

'Good morning,' Lily replied, kissing her on the lips and twirling her hair around her fingers. It had grown so long.

Both girls were naked and pressed against each other. Lily bit her girlfriend softly on the shoulder and Miley squeezed Lily's left breast as she gave a happy groan.

'I love you,' Lily said.

'I love you too,' Miley replied 'so much.'

Suddenly both of the girls heard a knock at the door and froze.

'Bud, are you up yet?' Billy-Ray called through the door.

'Just… getting changed dad so don't come in okay?' Miley replied, quickly scrabbling around for the clothes Lily had practically torn off of her last night. They heard Billy-Ray walk off down the hallway and Miley slowed her pace. Lily sat up and tried to pull Miley back to bed.

'Not right now,' Miley said uncomfortably.

Lily looked hurt.

'Miley, your dads gone downstairs,' she reasoned.

'But what if he comes back up?'

'He won't…'

Miley pulled a grey shirt over her head.

'Lily, you know my dad can never find out about us,' Miley whispered 'he wouldn't like it.'

Lily sighed; they had had this conversation a thousand times.

'We're nearly eighteen now Miley, he has to know sometime?'

Miley ignored her question and began rooting through her underwear drawer, making Lily get out of bed and pull her jeans up angrily.

'You always do this Miley,' she snapped.

Miley turned around.

'What do you want me to say Lily?'

'I want you to start being honest with everyone, I'm sick of hiding!'

'I can't, don't you understand I have everything to lose from this Lily, my dad would be so disappointed…'

'Oh so I'm a disappointment now?' Lily asked folding her arms.

'That's not what I meant Lils,' Miley said softly.

'Whatever,' Lily retorted, putting on her sneakers and heading for the door.

'Where are you going?' Miley pleaded, clinging on to her arm.

'I'm going for a skate, I need to clear my head,' Lily replied coldly.

'Please try to understand,' Miley said 'what it would do to me if anyone found out, I'm not ready Lils.'

Lily put her baseball cap on and looked at Miley.

'I get it,' she huffed 'a thousand times I get it Miley.'

Lily pulled away from the brunette's grip and left slamming the bedroom door. Miley stared at the door for a few seconds before she collapsed to the floor in a heap and curled up, biting back the tears. Lily was her whole world and her world was shattered when they argued like this. Why couldn't Lily understand her position? In a familiar way she moved across the room to take her razorblade out of the underwear drawer; she hid it there so no one would find it. She had first started harming herself when she first realised she liked Lily as more than just a friend around the age of fourteen; it had helped to distract her from her feelings. She had stopped when Lily saw the scars and confronted her about it when they were sixteen and she had broken down and told Lily everything. Lily had been surprised but supportive and they had got together that very night and ever since then she had never felt better. Recently though, Lily was getting sick of hiding their relationship from everyone. Miley couldn't stand it when they argued, it took her right back to how she felt when she was fourteen and her worst fear was losing Lily; she thought it would be the end if they ever broke up. She used the razor in her hand to slice into her hip, where no one could see it; it felt as though she was punishing herself for hurting Lily. If her dad found out, he'd send her straight back to the doctors like before. She watched as the familiar red liquid protruded from her skin and slid downwards.

After she'd finished she cleaned herself up she made her way downstairs to see her dad and Jackson. Jackson had burnt the toast and was attempting to rectify the situation with a towel and some soap. Billy-Ray raised his eyebrows at her as she came downstairs.

'Lily left mighty early this morning,' he said.

'Yeah… she had something to do,' Miley lied.

'So bud, what's your plans for today, need a lift to the mall?' Her dad offered.

'No, I think I'm going to head down the beach with Oliver,' Miley replied watching Jackson attempt to clean up.

'Don't forget you got your big Hannah Montana concert next week!' Billy-Ray reminded her.

'Yeah,' Miley sighed 'I hadn't forgotten.' She had been looking forward to the concert all week but her argument with Lily had dampened her spirits. She gave a half-hearted smile to keep her dad from questioning her.

Miley grabbed a piece of burnt toast off of Jackson's plate, bit into it once and then left after giving her dad a kiss on the cheek. As soon as she got into her car she breathed a huge sigh of relief; it felt good not having to put on a brave face when she was by herself. She started the engine and backed out of the driveway. She drove around scouring along the costal roads looking for Lily. She had to find her and make things right, she couldn't shift the tight feeling in her chest until she found her.


	2. Chapter 2

Miley found Lily down by the beach. She had her skateboard tucked under her arm and was in the process of buying an ice cream from the stall when she saw Miley pull up beside her. Miley wound her window down to talk.

'What do you want Miley?' Lily asked annoyed.

'To talk,'

'We always talk, I'm tired of talking.'

Miley rolled her eyes; this was going to be harder than she thought. Lily paid for her ice cream and then turned away. Miley suddenly got out of her car slamming the door.

'Lily!' She hissed, demanding her attention.

Lily stopped and Miley gently grabbed her.

'Can we just sit in my car for just a second?'

Lily looked as though she was about to turn away when Miley widened her eyes at her. Lily hesitated and let out an exaggerated sigh.

'Fine.'

She licked the tip of her ice cream as she got in to Miley's car, refusing to look at her in the eyes. Miley watched Lily's tongue wrap around her ice cream and felt her heart rate increase; after all this time she still wanted Lily over something as simple as that. She bit her lip, remembering they were in an argument.

'I know I've been selfish,' Miley started 'I'm not saying we can never tell my dad…'

'Well when can we? I'm so tired of hiding; I can't even hold your hand along the beach Miley, not like all the other couples.'

Miley felt a surge of guilt rise in her stomach; Lily was right. The thought of the looks and the stares terrified her; the thought of people judging her was too much.

'Lily I'm scared,' Miley stated 'I'm scared of what people will think.'

'I'll be there to hold your hand through it, no matter what,' Lily replied, forgetting her ice cream.

Miley stared out the windscreen at the sea, all the people walking along the beach laughing and messing around. If only she could swap places with them; be normal.

'All I know is that I can't lose you,' Miley said firmly.

Lily lapped at her ice cream whilst staring at the dashboard.

'Well I want to be with someone who isn't embarrassed to be with me,' Lily replied 'I love you Miley but you're really making it hard to be with you.'

Miley saw that Lily had ice cream all over her chin and nose, she leaned across to gently wipe it off. Then she looked Lily in the eyes and completely crumbled.

'I'll tell my dad,' she said quietly.

Lily looked at her.

'You will?'

'Yeah, not today but tomorrow after school, I promise,'

Lily finished off the cone and smiled to herself.

'Do you want me to be there?'

'No, it would be better if you weren't,'

'Okay…'

'And I'm not ready to hold hands along the beach yet, I will be eventually but just not yet,'

'It's okay, I understand this is a big step for you,' Lily replied.

There was a silence before Miley leaned over and kissed her girlfriend on the lips hungrily, not caring in that instant who might walk past her car; she wanted to physically claim her for her own reassurance. She brushed her fingertips over Lily's cheeks and held her close.

'You are way too lovable,' Miley sighed.

'I know,' Lily replied cheekily whilst shrugging.

Miley gazed at her as she pulled away; Lily had no idea what she did to her and sometimes she felt that could only be a good thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Miley had managed to talk Lily into coming back to her place so they could watch television together and - if Miley got her way - have Lily stay the night. Lily felt slightly uneasy around Billy-Ray's presence knowing that tomorrow he would know what she had been up to with his daughter. She watched as he cleared up the mess Jackson had left in the kitchen. She turned back to Miley and wanted to put her arms around her like usual but felt she couldn't; they usually snuggled up on the sofa and Miley's dad thought nothing of it, he just assumed they were best friends but now things would be different.

After the programme had finished both girls went upstairs to get ready for bed. As Lily went to brush her teeth, Miley gave her dad a kiss on the cheek before racing to her room and changing into her pyjamas. Even though there were two beds in Miley's room, Lily never slept in the guest bed; after she had finished in the bathroom she lay down on Miley's bed and stared up at the ceiling.

'It will be nice when we don't have to hide anymore; I always feel like people look at us and already know…' She began.

Miley climbed into the bed beside her, glad that they were finally alone.

'Can we talk about something else?' She asked reluctantly; she didn't want to think about it.

Lily shot her a look.

'Are you backing out?'

'No,' Miley said, kissing her on the lips 'it's just I don't want to have to think about it until tomorrow, not now I have you to myself.'

Lily nodded tiredly as Miley wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in close, covering the tomboy in kisses.

'I've wanted to do this all day,' Miley whispered.

She kissed Lily on the neck before biting on it softly; Lily felt her defensive posture soften and turned to kiss Miley hungrily, her tongue touching the roof of her mouth. She reached around Miley's hips and brought her in, grinding against her.

'You're lucky that you make my body react like it does,' Lily said 'otherwise you wouldn't be able to just change the subject like you do.'

Miley bit her lip as she pulled down the lower part of Lilys pyjama shorts; she loved that they were so loose. She grabbed both her exposed cheeks with her hands as Lily groaned her name.

The next morning Miley watched as her dad laid the plate of breakfast down in front of him. Lily had left to go and see her mom and get out of the way so Miley could have some alone time with her dad. Miley looked at him nervously; she had to tell him now, otherwise she would avoid it all day and Lily would never forgive her.

'Dad you should know, me and Lily…' Miley blurted out before she stopped herself.

He looked up at her with telling eyes.

'Want a lift somewhere I suppose?'

Miley laughed nervously; the words felt stuck in her throat.

'No, well the thing is we've been friends for a while and well,' Miley began to lose her cool 'she means a lot to me dad.'

'I know bud, you two go way back; she's your best friend.'

Billy-Ray shoved a strip of bacon into his mouth.

'Dad, you don't understand, me and Lily we're…' Miley stopped herself again; finishing the sentence could change everything.

'Spit it out bud, I want to watch the game after I finish this!'

She took a deep breath.

'We're more than friends dad,'

'She's like a sister I know,' he shrugged.

'No, not like a sister dad… I… I love her.'

Billy-Ray gave his daughter a confused look; Miley was acting very strange this morning.

'I'm not sure I understand?' He said putting his fork down.

Miley tried to bite back the tears that she felt forming in her eyes, she couldn't stand still she was so on edge.

'We're together dad, together like a couple.'

Miley's dad studied her face and knew at once that she was serious. His expression changed to one of disappointment.

'Together like dating?' He asked slowly.

'Yes dad,'

He shook his head slowly and let out a long sigh.

'Miley, those kind of relationships… they're not right; I know you're young and you're probably curious about the world but that's not something you do with other girls,'

On the one hand Miley was relieved he wasn't shouting but on the other hand her worst fears had been confirmed: he didn't understand.

'What do you mean?' She asked.

'I mean those types of feelings you're having are meant for boys Miles, not girls,'

'Dad, I love her,' Miley returned.

He shook his head.

'You're too young to know what love is, now listen I don't want to hear any more about it.'

'Dad?'

Miley didn't understand.

'You two need to spend some time apart, with other people,' he said standing up.

'Daddy, please don't do that,' she pleaded.

'I'm sorry bud, go to your room until you've calmed down,' he replied coolly.

'You can't stop me from seeing her!' She argued.

Billy-Ray lost his patience.

'I told you to go to your room… NOW!' He shouted.

Miley burst into tears as she ran upstairs and threw herself down on the bed. She sobbed; this was all Lily's fault, if she hadn't made her tell him… she dried her tears as she rang Lily on her mobile; she had to forewarn her.

'Miley?' Lily asked as she picked up.

Miley was sobbing again.

'I told my dad,' she said 'like you said to and now he won't let me see you, he doesn't understand Lily,'

'What? Why?' Lily asked.

'He says our relationship is wrong,'

Lily let out a snort.

'There's nothing wrong with us Miley,' Lily replied 'I'm sorry he reacted like this but he can't stop us seeing each other.'

There was suddenly a banging her bedroom door.

'Miles?' Billy-Ray shouted 'who are you talking to?'

'I've got to go,' Miley whispered as she quickly cut the line dead and stuffed her phone under her pillow.

'No one,' she replied.

Her dad came in with a stern yet understanding look on his face.

'I didn't mean to shout at you Miley,' he said 'I was just hurt, you're my baby girl and I don't want you to fall off the right path.'

'I'm not falling off the right path daddy,' she returned.

He sat down on the bed beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

'Promise me you won't see her again?'

'Daddy I have to,' she argued 'please don't do this.'

'Miley, if you see that girl again, I'm going to ring her parents and make sure that it's stopped,'

Miley's face went white.

'And if I don't see her?'

'Then we can leave it be,' he said.

Miley swallowed; she didn't want Lily's mom to find out, that would mean they had double the chance of being caught and separated. She sighed defeated as she looked up at her dad.

'I promise I won't see her again,' Miley resigned.


End file.
